It is a truth universally acknowledged that the traveler must be rich.

Friend.

Let’s get one thing out in the open up front: this is a rant.

Let me begin.

In our Western society you can spend on the things you want to spend and many times the priorities fall where we let them fall. It’s true, travel is a privilege — but so is owning a house and having an education of any kind. Most of the world simply doesn’t have access to this kind of lifestyle and self-improvement.

To understand more about general privilege, choice of how to spend our money is a great place to start. Can you travel if you want? Can you go to school if you want? Do you have job opportunities? Do you get to spend money on things other than food and rent?

I think we, who are in the 10% of the world’s wealthiest, spend more time nattering about someone else’s privilege while totally oblivious to our own. It’s not privilege until it’s someone else having or doing the things, right? Privilege exists in different ways for different people, but we can all agree Westerners are pretty “blessed” when it comes to having options and resources to do what we want, whether or not that means we travel.

But yet travel is still seen as luxury, whereas dining upon steak and seafood once or twice a week and driving a brand new vehicle is not.

“it must be nice to blow money on things like that.”

I’m here to talk a little about the relationship between travel, money, and family. There are a lot of preconceived notions that get stuffed into our heads about how life works and half the time they only make half the sense they should.

A few years ago I wanted to start traveling as a full-time lifestyle. It looked so sexy and glam, and I wanted to be sexy and glam with flexibility to shape my schedule. Somewhere in that time I ended up reading the book “Unworking: Exit the Rat Race, Live Like a Millionaire, and be Happy now.” In the book Clark talks a lot about figuring out how to create your own dream, not buy someone else’s. He has steps and questions to help work through it, and the end result of half a year of thinking was that full time traveling didn’t suit what I wanted for my life. Travel would always be part of my life, God willing, but it was not going to be a lifestyle for awhile. I was able to carve out a different kind of flexibility, one which has served me well.

From this basis I changed my approach to travel. Now you might be thinking, “aren’t you shooting your rant in the foot, woman?”

I am, for the sake of the point. The point being that I traveled and read and talked to other people, a lot, before I figured this out. You won’t know about things until you try them, unless of course there’s well documented evidence that everyone else who tried them, died.

There are lots of folks out there who never take any new road and wonder why on earth their life has become stagnant and boring? You don’t grow if you don’t take yourself out of the box every now and then, though of course you might outgrow your box and that can be a little scary. In a good way.

I think travel is not the only way to renew and refresh in life, but it is also a stellar way to open ourselves up to positive changes. People generally know this, but they still have a whole host of reasons (if I’m being less polite I call them excuses) as to why they don’t want to travel. I’m here to challenge assumptions about travel because there’s something about getting outside ourselves and our little hobbit-holes, and having an adventure, which helps us to understand life.

"Good morning!" he said at last. "We don't want any adventures here, thank you! You might try over The Hill or across The Water." By this he meant that the conversation was at an end.
"What a lot of things you do use Good morning for!" said Gandalf. "Now you mean that you want to get rid of me, and that it won't be good till I move off.” 

-Tolkien, The Hobbit

So, you can tell me “good morning!” …and go scan another mask controversy on Facebook, or… maybe you want to read my spiel. Totally up to you.

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Still here?

Ok.

I WISH I HAD DONE MORE WHEN I WAS SINGLE

It’s not uncommon to hear this often; I’m not sure why. Perhaps because people get married without having the adventure conversation with their spouse, and they ended up married to someone with different expectations.

Why not have the adventure conversation now? The truth is single people do not have a corner on travel or freedom or adventure. As adults, we all should be taking responsibility for our own lives, and it’s true that while getting married changes the shape of travel, it isn’t something that has to stop. Life is going to alter on us all the time, and whether or not we adapt with it is entirely up to us.

While we’re talking about the shape of travel, I also have to talk about the people who are waiting to get married to travel. Why? I know you always wanted that dream trip next to your person, and yeah, I think that sounds utterly amazing too. But why not try something on your own as well? If I don’t miss my guess, and I know this because I call myself out on this constantly, it’s because you feel like a dream will die and that’s too hard to handle.

It’s ok, it really is. You can have two dreams. Don’t miss out on life now because you want “then” to look different.

In our culture it seems being single is seen as trading love for adventure and freedom, and being married is seen as trading adventure and freedom for love.

As if adventure and commitment can’t walk hand in hand.

As if travel is the prerogative of a certain type of freedom. It would be nice to have the corner on the market, but no, this is open to anyone who decides to learn about it.

Speaking of learning…

I DON’T KNOW HOW

And no one can ever learn anything new? Of all the reasons not to travel this one is probably the most paper thin. This is the age of information, for Pete’s sake. Five million and one blogs will tell you everything you ever need to know about pretty much every corner on this earth.

Nah, this one doesn’t even count at all.

I CAN’T AFFORD IT

First of all, try to rethink that phrase into, “is this something I can, or want, to prioritize.” Don’t just take refuge behind your lack. Think it through.

Of course travel is a privilege and adventure (and commitment) but in our day it doesn’t have to be a luxury. My first trip to Europe I had a budget of $30 a night on lodging (tops) and about $25 a day for food. Add in expenses to get around and I mostly traveled for less than $65 a day. A three week trip came out to about $1350, sans airline tickets (which were partially purchased with miles). It was an amazing trip. Really one for the books, and all for much less a day than some people spend on lodging.

Another trip to Central America was even way cheaper. Rooms were an average of $20 a night, and one night, I spent $8 and checked off a bucket list item at the same time (dorm room experience). Food averaged maybe $10-$15 a day, which was on the luxury side already considering that street food could get you through at about $5 a day or less.

Travel can be luxury, but it doesn’t have to be. Travel can be selfish, but people aren’t selfish or spoiled because they travel.

Don’t take refuge behind your lack. You’ll find it starts to “protect” you even while making you go hungry.

PRIORITIES, MAN

So yeah, it’s true a certain level of money is required to sustain life, but the question here isn’t sustaining life but what we add to life once we’ve reached the certain minimum requirement. This is where our choices cross over into the lifestyle we choose and the expectations we have for it.

We tend to look at other people and think that somehow they have a lot of something we don’t, but it’s possible they’re better at priorities than we are. To order priorities you have to know what you want for your life and be honest enough about it to have clarity.

What do you want? It’s a question we’re taught not to ask, but that’s just sad because we can dream without being selfish or entitled about it. Of course we don’t get everything we want, but in life we must have some sort of vision for where we want to go so we can continue to grow and develop.

Money shouldn’t be what dictates our dreams. That’s just sad too. Sure, and we have to practice common sense and patience, but we get the order of things all wrong when we’re constantly starting our dreams with “what do I have the money to do?” Instead of “what would I like my life to look like” and then figuring out the money from there. We’re in a capitalistic society right now, we have this option and privilege.

We may or may not be able to actually get to do that thing when we want to do it, but I just don’t want money to master me that way.

Money is not a limited resource, as in, we have a certain amount of it, but it’s not like there’s only a certain amount of it in the world. Money is a measure of resource. Our bigger resources are our minds, our disciplines, our willingness to sacrifice to attain dreams. Money is always, always secondary.

There are exceptions, there are seasons, there are different socio-economic categories, but generally the folks making comments about someone with all the money out buying an experience and time in another culture are the ones who spend more than I do on better sound systems for their cars, expensive hobbies or clothes, and $1200 monthly grocery budgets. Ya know? I’m over here eating cabbage, buying second hand clothes, and driving a 10-year-old car because I would rather take that extra money and visit Portugal, or take lessons to dance or sail.

I vividly remember a conversation with a couple I met in Antigua, Guatemala; asking them how they maintain their schedule of 6 months home, 6 months traveling each year. She just kinda laughed and said her husband has never bought a new article of clothing or electronic in his life. The shirt he was wearing just then had holes and was purchased for $0.50 a few years back. Neither of them looked “poor” by the way, they were both vibrant and glowing.

He said that if you truly want something like they wanted, which was to travel half the year, you have to be willing to sacrifice. They put away 60% of their income for years to afford this retirement schedule (I think they were in their late 40s). What I remember about them is they made their money work for them, instead of assuming that money would bring them everything they wanted.

Priorities man. Live selectively, live wealthy.

LE’S TALK ABOUT KIDS A SECOND

I used to be one, and sometimes the jury is still out as to whether I still am. I like it that way; keeping a hold on the excitement and spontaneity and carefree enjoyment. I like setting myself up to be in places and times where it’s possible to let go and be childlike. To take joy in something really simple or even monotonous.

When I was six my parents took the five kids then in existence on a Western trip. We brought our own food, slept in a tiny camper, and took in the views along the way. For the 3 weeks, with five kids and the parents, one truck and camper, and about 5 states covered, it cost $400.

!!

Ok, that was in the 90s and diesel was under $1 a gallon, but even then that was still a pittance for a vacation 3 weeks long with that many kids. I know that must have taken crazy logistics and planning, but honestly we ate spaghetti for most of the time and none of us really seemed to care since we visited folks along the way who fed us things other than spaghetti. It was a blast. We threw snow at each other on the passes and hiked and saw the desert in Arizona and rode in the camper part on the top of the truck cab (nobody died though we did get rattled around a good deal).

I’m not here for these folks who can’t adventure because of kids. Sure. I know it’s harder, and not all adventure looks alike. I have friends who deliberately create adventures for their kids at home so I’m not saying everyone has to pack up the whole kit and caboodle to travel thousands of miles. I’m saying don’t make excuses for a boring life because you can’t afford Disneyland. Get creative like my parents did. We were ordinary as heck and even poorer than that, so whether you travel or not, whether you create fun memories or not has everything to do with what you decide to make happen. It has everything to do with your attitude toward life.

There was one trip like that in my entire childhood, with so many smaller things tucked in between. We didn’t do big things all the time, but we lived a life where anything might happen. My mom once packed all of us up for a spontaneous 18 hour road trip in a few hours time. Sure, there was frustration and she and dad probably questioned it, but we never felt like we stopped them from having fun. We were always a part of their life, not a deterrent from it. That is such a gift to children.

I’M NOT THE ADVENTUROUS TYPE

My rant will end shortly, but not before I call bologna on this one. What do you mean you’re not the adventurous type? Do you mean you don’t want to sky dive? Go to Australia? Learn to surf?

THAT’S FINE, YOU KNOW. Adventure looks different from person to person. Adventure is a way of life, but we think it’s doing certain things that qualify. This is not true. I know, for example, that I’m just probably never going to be a snowboarder. That’s ok, I don’t have to get my adventure in that way, I can go primitive camping, sky-diving, or sailing. I can try new things in my garden. I can try a date with that new guy, or whatever.

Adventure is simply the cultivation of a life that allows you to experience wonder, risk, challenge, and curiosity. It is saying yes to thinking outside the box and challenging our own status quo. We slowly die inside if we aren’t trying new things or pushing ourselves from time to time. People think getting old means we get to stop looking stupid while we learn new things, but all that is going to do is age you prematurely.

It’s pretty simple. Figure out where curiosity and fear intersect and try that thing. For me it’s things like travel, dancing, and dating. You might be the guy who wants to try the cooking class, or the girl who is interested in martial arts. Whoever you are, poke at your expectations and why you think you can’t try new things.

Travel is excursions over a wide, interesting world.

But pushing at your expectations for life is always the new frontier.

Adventure and spontaneity start small or they don’t start at all. They start in things that don’t take much money or they don’t start at all. Slowly, you will become a person of wealth, not a person who merely possesses wealth.

Ciao,

L. Raine.