Hi you, 

It's Thursday evening with no content scheduled for Monday, and the only workable draft a long philosophical ramble about the appearance of things that needs another 10 hours of research and editing to make usable. 

Would anyone notice if I tied myself to this Starbucks table until there was something satisfactory to post? No, no. That wouldn't be kind to the baristas who want to go home at 10:30. 

THURSDAY NIGHT THOUGHTS

There are certain personality types that could probably use a rope to stay grounded. It sounds discontent, but sometimes it would be kind of nice to try being a calm little northwood lake when it comes to emotions instead of the windward side of the islands. The surfing is better out here, supposedly, but having your face ground into the sand every so often isn't altogether pleasant. 

There's no saying that we have to be unstable but sometimes it's tiring to even out after a high or low so we fight against ourselves. So why do we do it? Why do we fight so much? 

Could be a control thing. We think that if we behave, think, talk and act in certain ways the outcome of things we do or do not want will come to pass. Now certainly self-control is a beautiful thing and a gift from God, but trying to change the future is not self-control. It's just plain old control. 

..."for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control."

Power. Love. Self-control. Desires. Oh crap. Pardon me, but we all look at our lives at times and say it.  

You know, you probably read these things people write and think everything is in order in those corners. That would be a no. Just last night I thought about running away and sailing into the sunset. When faced with a life that looks mundane, or unattainable, or too messy to ever clean up I'd like to bet every one of us is tempted to dive into another life we assume won’t have the same problems.

We're funny the way that we squeeze into our own expectations. It's like the perfect outfit that just doesn't work on us, or the pair of shoes that is a half size too small but we insist on trying anyway to the tune of blisters and pain. 

Here's a thought. How many of us are trying to fit into a life we don't actually want? I was just telling a friend the other day how two years ago I wanted a job that could be completely workable remotely, and to that end began to build a writing career. The 3-4 years since then have taught me some truly surprising things - incidentally - these are also the 3 Thursday Thoughts: 

1. I discovered what while it takes different bends in genre and lifestyle, writing is my life calling. Whether to write a work of art someday that endures generations, or whether to help process the life given, it is mine for better or worse. It would be wonderful if the former, but it's going to take a crazy amount of work to make that happen and meantime, there is a life to live. It doesn't really matter, actually. Either way I'm going to pour my heart and life into this and do it as well as I can. My friend, this is where your life calling actually starts. When you would do something even if you get nothing back for it... and give it to the world as a gift when maybe most of them will never receive or know it. Ask Jesus what he knows about this.

2. Connection with a community is important to me. Back when I wanted to travel the world and work from remote destinations it just looked cool, but now I know that I miss my home while I'm gone and thrive in throwing myself into life, work, and friendships - new and old. Networking is the tiredest buzzword of them all, but if you build it because you're actually interested in people and not what you can get from them, amazing opportunities come your way. It's a little like the 1st thought: when you give with no thought of return you become surprised by where life goes. 

3. The weak have just as much chance as the strong. I have no idea if this is a named principle, but there's something that happens when we put our all into something. What isn't much quickly gains momentum and "snowballs." This only happens if you realize that you bring something to the world and it's up to you to build the strength and character to deliver it in the best way possible. One of my favorite quotes of all time, by Tolkien, my hero: 

  "This quest may be attempted by the weak with as much hope as the strong. Yet such is oft the course of deeds that move the wheels of the world: small hands do them because they must, while the eyes of the great are elsewhere.”

This is where I should end with an elegant conclusion, but this is an everyday post and will be a casual goodbye. There is only my desire for you to know that there are great things happening in the small deeds of a day. Little things build into great matters. 

Ride those waves, baby, but when you get to shore, lay down that board and rest in the significance of the everyday.

Right there with you,

L. Raine